I'm being followed by a moonshadow

My day started off completely, disgustingly, terrible. I might go into if people I know didn't read my blog and they'd probably ask me about it tomorrow. I'm finally starting to feel better on my way to school (Isn't that funny? Funny strange, not funny "haha"), and it really only gets better from there. For some reason today went by so smoothly, but my friends were all like "Sydney is crazy today! Why are you acting so weird?" See, I didn't think I was acting weird.. Also when I think about today, I get a negative feeling. It's only when I really start thinking about it, that I realize it was actually really pretty decent. Pretty sure that's how everyone is. One thing goes wrong, and they're just like "aww the day sucks awwww" But in all reality, their day is not that bad. We just can't get that bad thing out of our head. I guess the same thing is true for if something REALLY good happens to us, but it has to be something that makes us all butterfly-like on the inside of our little bellies. A very small, or not-so-small, bad thing could happen to us during the day, and that's it. The day from then on fucking sucks. At night, we lay in our beds and cry about how that made us sad. Okay, maybe that's not everyone. Maybe that's just girls. If that's not all girls, I'm just going to go ahead and disown myself for being so sensitive. As far as I know, most girls do shit like that. I don't want to talk about it anymore.

I'm uncomfortable being openly proud about my artwork. It's just not right. I feel like I sound cocky, like "yeuh bitch look at dis painting. it's wassup." I never see my paintings as "wassup," though that doesn't mean sometimes I very much like an aspect of them. There's always something in my art that pisses me off and I just want to throw it away, and because of that little section, I guess it could also be a large section, I'm embarrassed of the whole thing. I wish I could stand up and give a speech about my art before I have to present it in class. I paint my friends a lot, but I'm so intimidated to show them when I'm done! What if they think I made them look like a fat cow old lady? I don't want them to be upset with me at all.. I just want people to be happy for what I've done.

For some odd reason every time I go out with my mom somewhere; actually, scratch that. I could be going ANYWHERE. Not even with her, and she'll say, "Why do you look so dressed up today?" She has yet to fail to ever ask me that question if I'm wearing a skirt or dress. Um, I guess I was unaware that having on a skirt, specifically a MINI skirt, was considered dressed up? The funny thing (I've got to stop saying funny when I mean strange) is that she has yet to fail to ask me this question anytime I'm wearing a skirt or dress. I admit, sometimes I look a little more grunge or... well I don't know what to call it, than other days. I may have a classier dress on on Sunday, but Saturday I was wearing chucks with my skirt. She thinks that really makes a difference. If I am not in COMPLETE formal attire, like black-tire formal, don't ask me that damn question! I know when to look presentable, and sometimes the outfits I wear that involve skirts and dresses are not even appropriate for nice events. It's just a pet peeve of mine that she always asks why I look so dressed up, WHEN CLEARLY I AM NOT DRESSED UP. SORRY I LIKE TO WEAR SKIRTS AND MAYBE NOT LOOK LIKE FRESH SHIT WHEN I WALK OUT OF MY HOUSE.