just kilt the club

I'm officially a famous model. All I need is a nasty coke habit and maybe less boobs. Just kidding, it's not official and I'm not famous. I had to sign a contract saying I wouldn't mention who was producing the fundraiser... so... no press for them I guess. But my hair stylist and other hair stylists from other salons got together and had a fashion show to fundraise for clean water. It was really fun! I can honestly say I've had a taste of the fashion life and I won't settle for anything else. It just pulls my heart a little more together in knowing the fashion industry is where I belong. Aww I'm a faggot! I got to invite a friend to model with me since someone else backed out at the last minute. Our salon didn't win anything, but someone told me I had a great model walk so that's all I really needed to hear...

me after the whole show

Me and Becca before we left da "salon" *Andre Leon Tally voice*

Me and Becca after the show. She actually has glass on hers.

It was really an amazing thing to be a part of. I really quite enjoyed myself, and I'm pretty sure Becca did, too. Now I understand why people make careers out of this shit. It's so great! You want to look at everyone's face in the audience but it's so hard to focus on individuals. I caught a couple people's eyes but I can honestly say I couldn't describe them even a little bit to someone now. Maybe one person, but that's because he was at the end where I was going to walk off. The happiest part (not really) was that I got to keep the fake eyelashes! And all this led to me... missing my purple hair. aw. :c

Who wants to come with me and melt in the sun

When I'm having a rough day I like to listen to Korn and the System of a Down radio on Pandora. A lot of people don't like those bands, and I completely understand. I do! I just wish people liked them. Korn is iffy. I get it. They're weird. System of a Down is so political and smart, though! If you don't like the music itself I would hope you'd appreciate the message they're sending.

I didn't come on this hur post to rant about bands most don't like. I came hur to talk about how I made lip stain! (Thank you Rookie Mag!) It was v organic and makes me feel all clean inside. I want to walk around in high heels and say "yes yes i made this myself you can't buy it in stores SORRYY." Also imagine a very expensive little bag while I fling my arm around. Okay, I'm not that snooty but sometimes I wish I was. I would be fly. (maybe not.) 

  If you read the article, or at least skimmed, on the link I posted, you probably already know that I used beet juice to make my lip stain. It didn't stain my skin as much as I thought it would! You know I don't do gloves. Gloves are for bitches. I don't even use gloves when I dye my hair! Then again, I mostly have other people dye my hair. Whatevs. I already have quite a few red lip stains and lip stick (red isn't quite my color anyway.) so I decided that when I was going to create this I would add a little color to make one orange (orange-y red is totes in right now anyways) and to make a deep purple. I decided food coloring would do the job quite well. It kinda worked.. I put the beet juice in two different containers; one for the orange and one for the purple. I added teeny bits of food coloring and stirred it around, testing it on my hands and lips until I liked the color. The purple didn't work so well. The orange? yes. I didn't add orange food coloring, I added yellow. To make orange... I KNOW MY COLOR THEORY OKAY. You could also have added oils, but i put a few drops into the whole bowl of beet juice that was made from the giant beet I had. I didn't add drops into my individual containers or anything like that. That felt like too much oil to me and it might cancel out because I know that I use oil to also take my makeup and lip stain off. 

ORANGE. this pic is a lil scary

my nose isn't this big in real life.

purple turned a little brown.

this is how dark it looks foreal

Instead of adding oils I just put a little chapstick over my lips when the stains has dried and starts getting stickay. It's a fun experience and you definitely could make a shitton of stain for the price! Me and two other friends made lip stain with the same beet, and we still threw out a big ass bowl of beet juice. If you're into this kind of stuff and enjoy saving money, because TUH who doesnt, I'd definitely give this a try.

Won't tell me no lies, make me a happy man.

I've experienced 4 deaths within the last three weeks. Three of them were affiliated with, or students who went to my school. Everyone's been grieving so much these past weeks, especially with the most recent death on Friday. Everyone at my school has gotten together to take care of each other and therapists or whatever have been coming in so kids can go down and see them. This is all very sweet! I'm happy to be a part of a community that can support each other. Even with the kids who didn't know the ones who died very well were there to help others. When I signed up for this school they were in love with themselves because of the fact that they called the school "one big happy family." Well, for the most part, fuck that. Then, tragedy struck. Three damn times. Now it's like we really are all family. Those who barely spoke to each other are now getting together and celebrating lives and grieving also. You don't realize how much you need others and need to be there for others until tragedy hits and silences your community. 

I almost wanted to sit here and write how people excluded others and made them feel bad if they weren't grieving, which the second part is slightly true, but it's not as big of a deal as I'm making it sound. I chose not to elaborate on that because I realized that that would counteract what I was saying about the big happy family. I think writing this makes me feel better because as I type it helps me process this more, and realize that everyone is just trying their hardest to get through this rough time. Who am I to comment on anything other than that? I'm proud of everyone at my school. 

But most of all, we at war with ourselves

I sit in class all day and I read Rookie Mag. A few things come to mind, "oh god I can write blog posts about shit I like and not have anything serious to say!" and "I want to paint Tavi Gevinson for my Icon painting in painting class." (The Icon painting is a giant painting I spend 9 weeks doing on someone who is a great influence on society and deserves to be remembered in my school and to represent my legacy. um DUH who else??) After I had this brilliant idea, my art teacher then proceeded to tell me she hadn't influenced many generations. WHAT. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? How about generations in the sense of young kids, old kids, woman, and old woman? Generations of woman?? Okay. I'm putting her on my list to be looked over anyway. He's not the one approving the icons, anyway. The dean does.

I clearly belong in Rookie Mag because I, too, have found a beautiful, "underground" movie about an inspirational badass lil girl. The movie Ladies and Gentleman the Fabulous Stains, which is indeed on Netflix for all who it may concern (damnear everyone), is really great. What's not to like about a group of teenage girls with shitty moms (or no mom) who make a punk band and cut their hair and wear underwear on stage? The main character, Corinne, is the definition of "Bad bitch." She can't even play an instrument, but they join a random tour bus and get laughed at originally, then she takes her coat and hat off, and BAM. Underwear and skunk hair! (rhyme??) Then she gives a speech about empowering girls and for them to be themselves. The ultimate statement is "We don't put out!"or something along those lines of not putting out, and that's all that really matters. Who wouldn't aspire to be like her? Maybe girls that put out.

TRY and tell me she has flaws. *all replies invalid*

I wish I had the balls to start a punk band with a bunch of angry teenage girls, cut my hair, only wear undies, and still convince girls to be themselves and not to put out. Honestly, I would love if I had the luxury of wearing underwear and heels without being confused for a baby prostitute... or worse.. white trash. But I'll never know unless I try, right?

Of course there are parts of the movie where she gets her head in a little fog, but what kind of story would it be if there wasn't some drama and misfortune made by the main character? Everything gets back on track, though. I promise.

It's like she's a more punk, bitchin' version of Lady Gaga. Way way more hardcore, but I can't keep that thought from surfacing in my mind as I watch the movie and think about it. People may complain about Lady Gaga, but HEY, you aren't out there telling everyone their beautiful and wearing meat are you?? (If you are then that statement does not apply.) Check yaself. 

A blog is not complete until the blogger has attempted the look. Key word: attempt. 

California dreamin' on such a winter's day

When you have a blog you really get an understand of how uninteresting your life can be sometimes. I've spent a week thinking about what I should blog about, then I remembered I took some nice pictures so... Guess we can deal with that!

There's always that moment of "I just had a photo shoot (two weeks ago) and now I'm finally going to download all the pictures onto my computer and they'll be GREAT." 15 minutes later, after you've downloaded all the photos to your computer and deleted half of them because they were gross, what are you left with? Well, half the photos you started out with. Other than that, NOTHING. It's literally so disappointing! I'm pretty sure every girl goes through this, too. 

You would be right in assuming that these were the only (mostly) appropriate photos I could find that were nice. Let me tell you, doe, that I did not tag that graffiti! Even if I had, I wouldn't claim it publicly, but you can definitely believe me because I only have black spray paint. 

It's sad for a shopaholic when they want to go shopping, or spend their time online shopping, BUT THERE'S NO ROOM TO PUT THE CLOTHES SHE HAS ALREADY. Story of my freaking life!

I say when

Look at me, blogging in school. I think by definition that makes me a rebel. Sorry, but I think I'd rather be reading Rookie Mag on this BWM (Brain Washing Machine) aka Tablet they gave me, then blogging about it, instead of watching a show about white guys building railroads. Though, they DID have Tim Gunn speak in the show, and I love him too much. I get homesick as I read these articles on Rookie because I just want to go home and wash all those clothes I just got at the Goodwill Outlet, then put them all on and take pictures. Why can't I be a beautiful, inspiring babe like Tavi or Arabelle?? I'm beautiful, I'm a babe, and I inspire, but it just doesn't come together for me quite like it does for them! Wah. I'm sure I'm just one of 459870398765049utrgj9 girls that think this everyday of their life.

As I was writing that in school, the teacher closed the class all of a sudden so I didn't even get to finish my sentence. Ohwell, I can't complain because it's not like I lost all that I wrote.

I got my Lip Tar to look like I want it to! I wasn't going to give up so easily, as I would if this was an organized sport. (I am indeed in Track, trying as hard as I can to not quit like I've done with damnear every other sport.) My friend Rachel told me to try putting cover-up on my lips before putting the Lip Tar on. Well, guess who couldn't find their only foundation, and has never even own a cover-up stick before today? THIS GIRL. So I just bought a cheap Maybelline Cover Stick at Marsh or something, came home, and immediately went to try it out. After, of course, I Instagram-ed a picture of the Limited Edition Chocolate and Strawberry Special K cereal. LITERALLY, WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE? You may have said that in a Rihanna voice in your head as you read it, if so, I'm happy. It said "Limited Edition", and there were only four left, so my step-dad said I should buy two... I did. I don't know whether to be like "yeahhh bitch got me two boxes!" or to be like "well... I don't know what to say to you, self." I'll try not to over think it. Back to the Lip Tar subject - I'm really glad my friend gave me this bit of advice because it definitely saved me from going out and buying $20 or more Lip Primer. Sure, some time in my life I will probably end up buying Lip Primer, but now is not the time! I have much better to things to be saving up for, like an antique Air Force jacket. (It looks bootyful on me!)

If you look at this picture, and the picture in the last post, you can tell how much whiter and nicer the Lip Tar looks when I put the concealer stick on under it.

TA DA!!!

Here I am, with my significant other, about to go out to a restaurant. (with my mom and brother.) I just feel like I started this blog to talk about my style and fashion, so I need to keep up with the keep up. Another day will have to be spent reviewing all my Goodwill Outlet purchases, though.

Paranoia strikes deep.

What kind of blog do you take me for? Looking at the last few posts I might say a boring one. But I have exciting news, now!

Don't you love when you order something online and you expect it on a certain date, but it comes earlier? You see a package in front of your house and the first thing that comes to mind is, "moveeee, bitch, get out da wayyy!" But, you try to refrain from saying that because your mom is probably around. So you just jump out of the car extra early, snatch your package, then yell at your mom to hurry up and unlock the door so you can open the package in a more suspenseful way. What if the package doesn't have your name on it? Well, then you just kind of throw it on the ground and step on it because NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR PACKAGE. The omg-my-package-came-early feeling is just as good as the omg-where-the-hell-is-my-package feeling is bad. That has also happened to me, and I literally threw a tantrum everyday. Okay, not really because that's weird, but I wanted to. That's what it felt like on the inside! Though I'm sure most can relate. Unless you aren't a total bitch. (tuh.) 

I got my OCC Lip Tar!! I got the Feathered one! It's white. It's a lot smaller than I expected, but I heard you didn't have to use that much, sooooo, whatever I guess. You best believe I looked up hella reviews on this stuff before I bought it. (I only had 17 in my checking account and the Lip Tar is 16... I must spend wisely.) Every source pointed to this being THAT SHIT. (in a good way.) So I go to put it on and it definitely shows my lip color under it... I mean, from far away it's just like "white lips!" but not even that up close you can tell... Maybe I'm just liquid-lipstick-tarded, but it also kept getting all on the outside of my mouth and was taking awhile to dry... I also have to use more than the review-ers said I did. Like, it's in a tiny ass bottle, I don't want to use a bunch! Guess what I noticed after I got it? That It says to use lip primer. Who even freaking knows what lip primer is!!! Not me, I guess!! Well, now I only have 1 dollar, which I'm assuming is not enough for some damn lip primer. My question is, why didn't any of the reviews tell me this beforehand? Like, I knew that it might run the my skin cracks a little, whatever, my Serpentina Lime Crime does the same thing. This girl in one of my classes told me today that it's just the OCC color I got... I don't really know what to think. That kind of sucks, but I still got a bad impression. Of course I'm going to gather some money together and buy some lip primer, but I'm a little bit shitty that I have to go through all of that. I may be a makeup connoisseur, but I am not a makeup professional!

Here it is.