Something takes a part of me.

I've come to good terms with myself on a few things I was weary on before. (This doesn't include the assignment for an AP class I have due before school starts. I'm still a little awe-struck about this. What can you expect from me?) I bet you're hoping I have come to terms with great soul-inspiring human issues. No. They're mostly shallow; appearance related. Do you know who inspires me the most? Arabelle Sicardi. I looked to her when I knew it was time to dye my hair purple in a non-emo way. I love it when her roots grow out. I watched Project Runway (and the last two episodes of season 4 of Drop Dead Diva last night) and guess who was there. Kelly Osbourne. Her hair is purple, her roots are grown out, and she's beautiful. I can do what I want with my hair and make myself what I want with it. It's not about what you do, it's what you do with it. It's like a pair of shoes. It's how your personality plays into it, and how you style them that makes your style/personality aura. Maybe I'm not the best at explaining things, so I'll just talk about this amazing purple lipstick I got off of Etsy.

Just kidding. This post was started about two weeks ago and since then my baby Macbook has committed suicide and I now have a new computer. I wouldn't have this new computer if my school didn't require me to either bring a device or use another brain washing machine they provide. Well, guess what. I don't have a Macbook anymore. It's an Acer I got at the Windows store at the Fashion Mall near my house. I'm so sad to have lost my baby and this computer made me cry when I got home because it's not the same (I'm also emotional and probably a brat. but mostly emotional.). Let's just say me and whoever is in charge of Mac are gonna have a little chat aka me putting my fist in their face. My whole family (mom, uncle, grandma) put money together to get me a used macbook for this past Christmas, keep in mind it's only Augusts now, and the Mac store won't fix my old child, or even supply the parts for me to have someone else fix it. My Mac turned five years old in January, since then it's been considered "vintage" and they won't fix it. The graphic card just went out or something. It wasn't my fault. I didn't spill anything on my computer. Mac just wants me to spend another thousand at their store for it to commit suicide in five and a half years to spend another thousand, or more. It's really sad. I also lost of pictures and files. They won't do anything. I'm so fed up because honestly I'm so comfortable with Macs and they're so neat and easy to use, but for the price you pay in the long run, they aren't worth it. Fuck it.

Where's North from here?

I've been away for a week. If you have kept up with my blog, and have a feel for my personality, I dare you to close your eyes right now and take a guess where I was. dfkjjdkjkdn,kjsdflgbhsdfg (That was so you couldn't see the immediate answer.) Hopefully you all guessed some sort of Fashion Week. That would warm my heart, but that would be incorrect! I was at Jesus Camp. I went with this group at my school called Young Life, who I don't normally associate with. A week before I departed (two weeks ago) I was convinced by a friend to go, and I'm so glad I did. I met some great people, got closer to friends I'd fallen from, and had oodles of fun. It was on this beautiful lake with a shiton of water excitements. What's the actual word for those things? Like the blobs and rope swings and kayaking and tubing? I had all the free time during the day to play frisbee, or nap, or play gaga (and many other things I chose not to do.) We did camp competitions after breakfast. My school's group was so big that we always made our own team, instead of partnering up with other schools to make a team. After dinner went to this building for "Club" where we watched skits and sang and played games on stage. Then a man named Kevin came in to preach the "word" to us. That is the moment of each day when my mood went from Nigel Thornberry to Michael Kors in like two seconds. Instead of having fun in all the mac n cheese like the majority of the day, I threw up all the bologna shoved down my throat. He told us it was a sin to "do you". Umm, pretty sure "do you" is my life motto. We're not allowed to go and find ourselves because ourselves are God. I respect all religions, but I'm just glad I'm not apart of it. I threw in my opinions during Cabin Time, but I never wanted to make any of those kids lose their faith in God. They tried their best to explain Christianity to me, I'm sure in the process they hoped I'd find God, but I don't think they were offended I never did, nor will. I did have some people say iffy things, like telling my my opinions were a "start", as in a start to turning into a Christian, which I didn't appreciate. Nothing I can/could/will ever say will change the way that person feels. Which, is honestly a little sad because I wish the world would just respect everyone's opinions, even if it's not their own.
   I got the chance to ask the preacher man, Kevin, a couple questions. (So did others.) He brought up how man and woman are to be the only ones in a marriage, and that pre-marital sex is a sin. Guess what? All sins are the same in God's eyes, so basically if I have pre-marital sex it's as if I murdered 6 million people (shouts out to Hitler). Another boy asked about reincarnation, the preacher man laughed off the question. I approached the boy later and told him I think it's okay to believe in something that's not a part of the bible. I believe people have the choice, and he agreed. He thanked me for reassuring him. I felt terrible for how his question was laughed off. I want others to feel good about their beliefs even if they aren't the same as mine.

Mother should I trust the government?

There are many things good about summer, but if you are a fuckass, they could easily rot away in the palm of your hand.

I've had to work long shifts this previous Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. I've been at my dad's house since I got off work on Sunday and will be returning later today (Wednesday). I have no friends here in this neighborhood. There are no places to walk. I have my computer and books. Well, Sydney, Why don't you just run along and read a book in a tree? You see, mother, I can't because I HAVE TO WATCH MY DEMENTED GRANDMA. She's a nice lady, but very crazy. I have to keep an eye on her. Thus meaning I have to stay in the house with her all day. I don't get to enjoy this wonderful weather with myself, nor my friends, since I am not near them. I'm not sure if I'm even allowed to go in the backyard and tan while she's in the house. I'm getting paler by the moment! It's heartbreaking, it truly is. I can't enjoy the good weather, or freedom of summer. Shoot, I can't even enjoy proper vision because I don't have another pair of contacts or glasses to get me through today. I feel like a lost kitten in a damp, dark box. I just want to go home!

Imagine being in that position; a damn kitten in a damn dark, damp cardboard box. All you want is to go home! Don't be sad because you have "nothing to do", so you sit inside all day on a nice summer 24 hour period. Go outside! I'm a big supporter of art making at times like this. I know, it's a little hard to be inspired while you're bored. Generally, once you force yourself to start, there's really no stopping you. Making art helps a lot. Prepare a nice meal for yourself or family! Go take pictures of plants and bugs (That's what I do..) or something better like people on the street in the middle of an awkward pose! Find something nice to wear and walk down where there are people and make new friends (or don't) There are so many options if you can just get that lazy booty off the couch. The hardest part is getting started, I promise.

Don't immediately get on the computer, that leads to hours spent doing nothing without realizing it. All you dang teenagers have smart phones (tuh) so check what you have to check on there. That way you'll get bored after you've checked all your social networkings and you'll be ready to go do something. That helps me in the morning to get up. If I find it hard to get up I get on my ex-Iphone to look at Twitter/Facebook/Instagram. I don't think I actually pay attention to whatever's on the screen, but it wakes my brain up a little bit so I'm more aware and willing to get up. I then like to get myself a hot drink because that also will help, then take yourself from there! don't wait too long to put your clothes on. Putting them on in the beginning of your day will help make you feel ready to go whenever. Play music as you get al your shit done. Music gets everyone pumped! Duh! Unless it's Bright Eyes. Don't get me wrong, I fucking love Bright Eyes. But you know that shit is so un-energizing. It makes me want to cry in a shower or go to bed soon. Do what you want, but if you're going by my experienced judgement, I wouldn't choose Bright Eyes as the best thing to wake up to in the morning. So pretty much he moral of the story is: Get up and do something with your life. The more you do in a day the happier you will be.

Nobody told me about her

First, I want you take a moment and soak in the feeling you get when you're on a plane for a few hours and literally don't know what the fuck you're doing. Some of the pictures to and fro Florida are me in an airport and in a plane trying to figure out what's going on. Planes really suck if the people around you aren't any fun (AKA family). Unless, you know, your family is really fun and also happen to find great ways to past time on a plane besides taking Xanax and a drink then passing out. That shit doesn't fix anyone else's problems on the plane unless they're trynna share. If it's your mom, I'd hope she wouldn't share... I could think of reasons why she SHOULD. Maybe you have terrible anxiety? Or a fear of planes/heights? Other than that... I don't think your mom should be passing out Xanax and alcohol willy nilly like a religious person with brochures. It just ain't right ya feels.

I happened to be in Florida through the middle of review week before finals. It sounded fine at first, but actually it sucked. Only because I didn't have the chance to retake any tests or turn in late homework. Surprise Attack! Florida has hit me with Bronchitis. What kind of bullshit is that? I needed to be focusing on school but all I could focus on was all the mucus inside my skull, locked up, trying to escape through any hole. (maybe not any hole... That'd be a lil awkward) My grandma did buy me a lot of stuff and after the first day it got a little old. I don't really feel comfortable with people a bunch of stuff for me! She spent oodles of unnecessary money on me, my mom, and my little brother. It was crazy. Of course I got a lot of cool shit from her, but I still felt guilty. I had to walk away every time the cashier said the amount. Especially when we went to Ron Jon's by Cocoa Beach (or however it may actually be spelled). My brother and I got skimboards, which we aren't terribly good at. I had to get a new bikin top because the beautiful one I ordered from Asos couldn't defend my cleavage from the waves. It could be partially my fault since I only wear bandeaus due to the fact I hate stringy tan lines. The waves were not letting up on me, good thing I have no shame. Haha. I took so many pictures with my nice camera, a disposable camera, a water-proof disposable camera, and my mom's iPhone. We'll see which ones will actually work.

I'm da best at passing time

twinsies

IT GOT A BIRD IN IT NOSE

These are the only ones I really wanted to put on here from my nice camera. I tried to download those disks they give you at Walgreens with your disposable cameras, but my computer kept rejecting it. Even though those photos and this computer would be perf together.

Once I get done with finals and actually get myself together I'll post about all the cool stuff I got. I need an outfit post. Haven't had one in a min.

Words all fail the magic prize

I once again got to dress up and have fun, but this scenario is far from the prissy modeling show. (Not complaining about it. Donut get me wrong.) I went to something called Punk Rock Prom, where you dressed up like prom. Most of the kids were faggots, so they dressed like prom faggots. Who am I to judge? I am, too, a faggot. I just didn't really dress like how they did. I got a velvet gown from Goodwill, then my friend cut it really short. A bunch of bands played, I missed the first two, saw the middle two, and I don't know how many were after that. All I know is that I left at like 11, which is time fo me to dip out. Actually, my friend wasn't feeling good and wanted to leave, also the only band I was really looking forward to had just played. We pretty much all just moshed and whatnot.

My mom gets so upset because she says it's not normal to like pain. I don't think that is very true. Boys like to play fight all the time, there are professional fighters, and look at the people from Jackass! They are literally my idols. I think it might be the fact I do in fact have a vagina. Does that mean I'm not supposed to like fighting? I think not. My mom is very pro-equality, she might just be concerned because I am her heir. But, there's something odd about it, something that rubs me the wrong way. People (my mom and therapist and friends) keep telling me I'm not normal for all this and I just don't agree. If a boy smashed his soda can with his head at lunch everyday, it would be funny. It's still funny when I do it, but I get a little more judged. I get deemed "weird" and possibly "unattractive", I don't know whether people think I'm attractive or not. I don't agree with it being okay for boys to be outgoing while I have to sit back and resist the urge to smash cans with my head. Nawt cool.

dis is da crew: Nina, Shani, Anna, Me (sydney)

awww how l'adorable

cutest couple award

I really want to post the picture of me and this boy that I totally have a "I want to be this kid's bff" crush on, but he doesn't want me to put it anywhere... I'm not sure why. I think I embarrass him.

just kilt the club

I'm officially a famous model. All I need is a nasty coke habit and maybe less boobs. Just kidding, it's not official and I'm not famous. I had to sign a contract saying I wouldn't mention who was producing the fundraiser... so... no press for them I guess. But my hair stylist and other hair stylists from other salons got together and had a fashion show to fundraise for clean water. It was really fun! I can honestly say I've had a taste of the fashion life and I won't settle for anything else. It just pulls my heart a little more together in knowing the fashion industry is where I belong. Aww I'm a faggot! I got to invite a friend to model with me since someone else backed out at the last minute. Our salon didn't win anything, but someone told me I had a great model walk so that's all I really needed to hear...

me after the whole show

Me and Becca before we left da "salon" *Andre Leon Tally voice*

Me and Becca after the show. She actually has glass on hers.

It was really an amazing thing to be a part of. I really quite enjoyed myself, and I'm pretty sure Becca did, too. Now I understand why people make careers out of this shit. It's so great! You want to look at everyone's face in the audience but it's so hard to focus on individuals. I caught a couple people's eyes but I can honestly say I couldn't describe them even a little bit to someone now. Maybe one person, but that's because he was at the end where I was going to walk off. The happiest part (not really) was that I got to keep the fake eyelashes! And all this led to me... missing my purple hair. aw. :c

Who wants to come with me and melt in the sun

When I'm having a rough day I like to listen to Korn and the System of a Down radio on Pandora. A lot of people don't like those bands, and I completely understand. I do! I just wish people liked them. Korn is iffy. I get it. They're weird. System of a Down is so political and smart, though! If you don't like the music itself I would hope you'd appreciate the message they're sending.

I didn't come on this hur post to rant about bands most don't like. I came hur to talk about how I made lip stain! (Thank you Rookie Mag!) It was v organic and makes me feel all clean inside. I want to walk around in high heels and say "yes yes i made this myself you can't buy it in stores SORRYY." Also imagine a very expensive little bag while I fling my arm around. Okay, I'm not that snooty but sometimes I wish I was. I would be fly. (maybe not.) 

  If you read the article, or at least skimmed, on the link I posted, you probably already know that I used beet juice to make my lip stain. It didn't stain my skin as much as I thought it would! You know I don't do gloves. Gloves are for bitches. I don't even use gloves when I dye my hair! Then again, I mostly have other people dye my hair. Whatevs. I already have quite a few red lip stains and lip stick (red isn't quite my color anyway.) so I decided that when I was going to create this I would add a little color to make one orange (orange-y red is totes in right now anyways) and to make a deep purple. I decided food coloring would do the job quite well. It kinda worked.. I put the beet juice in two different containers; one for the orange and one for the purple. I added teeny bits of food coloring and stirred it around, testing it on my hands and lips until I liked the color. The purple didn't work so well. The orange? yes. I didn't add orange food coloring, I added yellow. To make orange... I KNOW MY COLOR THEORY OKAY. You could also have added oils, but i put a few drops into the whole bowl of beet juice that was made from the giant beet I had. I didn't add drops into my individual containers or anything like that. That felt like too much oil to me and it might cancel out because I know that I use oil to also take my makeup and lip stain off. 

ORANGE. this pic is a lil scary

my nose isn't this big in real life.

purple turned a little brown.

this is how dark it looks foreal

Instead of adding oils I just put a little chapstick over my lips when the stains has dried and starts getting stickay. It's a fun experience and you definitely could make a shitton of stain for the price! Me and two other friends made lip stain with the same beet, and we still threw out a big ass bowl of beet juice. If you're into this kind of stuff and enjoy saving money, because TUH who doesnt, I'd definitely give this a try.