Won't tell me no lies, make me a happy man.

I've experienced 4 deaths within the last three weeks. Three of them were affiliated with, or students who went to my school. Everyone's been grieving so much these past weeks, especially with the most recent death on Friday. Everyone at my school has gotten together to take care of each other and therapists or whatever have been coming in so kids can go down and see them. This is all very sweet! I'm happy to be a part of a community that can support each other. Even with the kids who didn't know the ones who died very well were there to help others. When I signed up for this school they were in love with themselves because of the fact that they called the school "one big happy family." Well, for the most part, fuck that. Then, tragedy struck. Three damn times. Now it's like we really are all family. Those who barely spoke to each other are now getting together and celebrating lives and grieving also. You don't realize how much you need others and need to be there for others until tragedy hits and silences your community. 

I almost wanted to sit here and write how people excluded others and made them feel bad if they weren't grieving, which the second part is slightly true, but it's not as big of a deal as I'm making it sound. I chose not to elaborate on that because I realized that that would counteract what I was saying about the big happy family. I think writing this makes me feel better because as I type it helps me process this more, and realize that everyone is just trying their hardest to get through this rough time. Who am I to comment on anything other than that? I'm proud of everyone at my school. 

But most of all, we at war with ourselves

I sit in class all day and I read Rookie Mag. A few things come to mind, "oh god I can write blog posts about shit I like and not have anything serious to say!" and "I want to paint Tavi Gevinson for my Icon painting in painting class." (The Icon painting is a giant painting I spend 9 weeks doing on someone who is a great influence on society and deserves to be remembered in my school and to represent my legacy. um DUH who else??) After I had this brilliant idea, my art teacher then proceeded to tell me she hadn't influenced many generations. WHAT. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? How about generations in the sense of young kids, old kids, woman, and old woman? Generations of woman?? Okay. I'm putting her on my list to be looked over anyway. He's not the one approving the icons, anyway. The dean does.

I clearly belong in Rookie Mag because I, too, have found a beautiful, "underground" movie about an inspirational badass lil girl. The movie Ladies and Gentleman the Fabulous Stains, which is indeed on Netflix for all who it may concern (damnear everyone), is really great. What's not to like about a group of teenage girls with shitty moms (or no mom) who make a punk band and cut their hair and wear underwear on stage? The main character, Corinne, is the definition of "Bad bitch." She can't even play an instrument, but they join a random tour bus and get laughed at originally, then she takes her coat and hat off, and BAM. Underwear and skunk hair! (rhyme??) Then she gives a speech about empowering girls and for them to be themselves. The ultimate statement is "We don't put out!"or something along those lines of not putting out, and that's all that really matters. Who wouldn't aspire to be like her? Maybe girls that put out.

TRY and tell me she has flaws. *all replies invalid*

I wish I had the balls to start a punk band with a bunch of angry teenage girls, cut my hair, only wear undies, and still convince girls to be themselves and not to put out. Honestly, I would love if I had the luxury of wearing underwear and heels without being confused for a baby prostitute... or worse.. white trash. But I'll never know unless I try, right?

Of course there are parts of the movie where she gets her head in a little fog, but what kind of story would it be if there wasn't some drama and misfortune made by the main character? Everything gets back on track, though. I promise.

It's like she's a more punk, bitchin' version of Lady Gaga. Way way more hardcore, but I can't keep that thought from surfacing in my mind as I watch the movie and think about it. People may complain about Lady Gaga, but HEY, you aren't out there telling everyone their beautiful and wearing meat are you?? (If you are then that statement does not apply.) Check yaself. 

A blog is not complete until the blogger has attempted the look. Key word: attempt. 

California dreamin' on such a winter's day

When you have a blog you really get an understand of how uninteresting your life can be sometimes. I've spent a week thinking about what I should blog about, then I remembered I took some nice pictures so... Guess we can deal with that!

There's always that moment of "I just had a photo shoot (two weeks ago) and now I'm finally going to download all the pictures onto my computer and they'll be GREAT." 15 minutes later, after you've downloaded all the photos to your computer and deleted half of them because they were gross, what are you left with? Well, half the photos you started out with. Other than that, NOTHING. It's literally so disappointing! I'm pretty sure every girl goes through this, too. 

You would be right in assuming that these were the only (mostly) appropriate photos I could find that were nice. Let me tell you, doe, that I did not tag that graffiti! Even if I had, I wouldn't claim it publicly, but you can definitely believe me because I only have black spray paint. 

It's sad for a shopaholic when they want to go shopping, or spend their time online shopping, BUT THERE'S NO ROOM TO PUT THE CLOTHES SHE HAS ALREADY. Story of my freaking life!

I say when

Look at me, blogging in school. I think by definition that makes me a rebel. Sorry, but I think I'd rather be reading Rookie Mag on this BWM (Brain Washing Machine) aka Tablet they gave me, then blogging about it, instead of watching a show about white guys building railroads. Though, they DID have Tim Gunn speak in the show, and I love him too much. I get homesick as I read these articles on Rookie because I just want to go home and wash all those clothes I just got at the Goodwill Outlet, then put them all on and take pictures. Why can't I be a beautiful, inspiring babe like Tavi or Arabelle?? I'm beautiful, I'm a babe, and I inspire, but it just doesn't come together for me quite like it does for them! Wah. I'm sure I'm just one of 459870398765049utrgj9 girls that think this everyday of their life.

As I was writing that in school, the teacher closed the class all of a sudden so I didn't even get to finish my sentence. Ohwell, I can't complain because it's not like I lost all that I wrote.

I got my Lip Tar to look like I want it to! I wasn't going to give up so easily, as I would if this was an organized sport. (I am indeed in Track, trying as hard as I can to not quit like I've done with damnear every other sport.) My friend Rachel told me to try putting cover-up on my lips before putting the Lip Tar on. Well, guess who couldn't find their only foundation, and has never even own a cover-up stick before today? THIS GIRL. So I just bought a cheap Maybelline Cover Stick at Marsh or something, came home, and immediately went to try it out. After, of course, I Instagram-ed a picture of the Limited Edition Chocolate and Strawberry Special K cereal. LITERALLY, WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE? You may have said that in a Rihanna voice in your head as you read it, if so, I'm happy. It said "Limited Edition", and there were only four left, so my step-dad said I should buy two... I did. I don't know whether to be like "yeahhh bitch got me two boxes!" or to be like "well... I don't know what to say to you, self." I'll try not to over think it. Back to the Lip Tar subject - I'm really glad my friend gave me this bit of advice because it definitely saved me from going out and buying $20 or more Lip Primer. Sure, some time in my life I will probably end up buying Lip Primer, but now is not the time! I have much better to things to be saving up for, like an antique Air Force jacket. (It looks bootyful on me!)

If you look at this picture, and the picture in the last post, you can tell how much whiter and nicer the Lip Tar looks when I put the concealer stick on under it.

TA DA!!!

Here I am, with my significant other, about to go out to a restaurant. (with my mom and brother.) I just feel like I started this blog to talk about my style and fashion, so I need to keep up with the keep up. Another day will have to be spent reviewing all my Goodwill Outlet purchases, though.