You worry about the wrong thangs.

Shoutsout to Christmas Hauls!

Just kidding.

This is what I did with myself Christmas Eve night and yesterday when I went to hang out with my family to watch a football game.

Tried an upper white lip first. lol. didn't work out too well. 

look how creepy this is! haha! 

Is it too obvi I used photobooth for this?

Fuck if I ever learn how to fucking work this site. 

And the forests will echo with laughter

Take a second to think of some difficult life tasks. I'm just gonna go ahead and assume that you didn't put Christmas shopping on your list, even though you definitely need to. That shit has everybody stressin. There are so many people you feel like you should get something for, because they at least mean a little bit to you. They mean enough to want to show them they are appreciated, but sometimes you don't know what to get them. Sometimes, your paycheck can only afford a few people at a time even when you don't put any money into your savings just because you know you'll need it for Christmas shopping. There's also the issue I quite frequently run into where you go shopping for other people then see something you really want that's on sale so you get it, then immediately feel guilty you didn't save that money to spend on someone else or to put in your savings. Why do I need more things? Christmas is coming and I still have half the people on my list to find gifts for! I also have higher end taste, so it's hard for me to just choose some shotty present just to say I got someone something. It's funny because I'm currently shopping for people and saving links to things that I can't afford right now but will be able to once I get my check for this week.
Then what do you do if someone you didn't plan on getting for gets something for you? You feel so bad because now you're in a pickle! You want to get them something but you don't have the money, and you can't push everyone else on your list back. What do you even give that person?

My little solution to it all, is get for immediate family and significant other first, others will understand when their presents aren't there on Christmas. At least let's hope so.

In other words this whole post is for this: 
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wed1lI3B7Xk

Into this world we're thrown.

Lately, I've felt like I have a lot of knowledge to share with people. I always want to talk about something. Yet, why is it when I sit down to blog, I can't really figure out what to say? I'm not quite sure why that is. That wasn't some sort of rhetorical question. Somewhere along the lines something happened in my brain, shutting off all creativity and sass I held for writing. Should I blame my AP Language and Composition class? I guess I could, but I don't know if I want to. I would rather force myself to sit down and write than find a reason why I can't sit down and write.

Do you ever have a teacher that says some good shit but then other times you're like "This bitch is high on bullshit,"? That's my sociology teacher. It's a college course, she teaches at a community college down the way. She'll stand there (more like she'll lean against a desk in a way that looks really uncomfortable because i feel the corner of the table is poking her butt) and will talk about case studies or people she works with, or a lot of straight to the point sociology/communication stuff and I totally agree with her. Then there are other times when she says things and I have to keep my mouth shut, then after class find this girl and we bitch about how mad she made us. One time when we were talking about the Industrial Revolution she brought up how people in other countries are getting more jobs for making things (i.e. clothes, toys, cars, etc) and how it's not right that our American jobs are being taken by other country people because they think Americans are "too expensive." She was just ranting about how we were being played so dirty. I just wanted to be like, "It's not that we're too expensive, it's that they're abusing those people in those countries! Those people working in factories are not making then money they need to live. We shouldn't be upset about how they're taking our jobs. We should be upset they're being taken advantage of." Of course I kept my mouth shut. And again kept my mouth shut when she talked about how it wasn't Walmart's fault that they had lead in their toys because they weren't the ones making it, China was. Oh my lawd I almost walked out that day! Don't you think it's a company's responsibility to know WHO'S making their products, HOW they're making them, and WHAT they're making them with? I sho do! But, hey, what the fuck do I know? (I'm not a Chitown nigga with a nice flow but that sure would've been convenient if I was.) The other day, she mentioned how we've had a cure for cancer for about 40 years now, but the medical companies don't want to release it. Medical companies do some FUCK UP SHIT. But, I don't exactly believe we've had a cure for cancer that long. Sometimes, when people get mad at her, I believe they might just not really be understand completely what she's saying. She frequently talks shit about Obamacare, and people will role their eyes. It's true, though. Obamacare isn't going that well... at all. She never said why she thought it was going poorly! She's not talking shit about Obama, and she's not praising any Republican "enemy" of his, but for some reason people get offended by what she's saying. They're assuming she doesn't like Obama because she's talking shit about Obamacare when she really never said anything of the sort. People jump to conclusions quickly. It's just strange how one day I can really dig what she's saying, and feel completely absorbed in the lecture, then other days I just space out because I know if I listen I'm just going to get more and more frustrated. Life be like that sometimes.

It's a great day for genocide

The worst part about a technology-filled society is that I'm fucking techno-tarded. I don't know shit about how to work a computer or go about fixing something that's broken. Every time I think I'm having a major break through, a little box pops up and tells me something has gone awry. Awesome. When I try to go and get help, it seems that no one around me knows what to do, either. Is anyone even trained on technology??? Like, seriously, (okay maybe not seriously). But, it feels like half of us know what the hell we're doing, and the other half are just waiting for someone to tell us what to do. How am I supposed to rely on technology in my society when damnear a select few are the only ones who know how to work it? There's no way we can run on computers and smart phones if we don't know how to properly work them. It's like trying to turn America into a country where we rely on horses for everything, but most of us don't even know how to get on a horse, let alone know how to ride one. It just doesn't work! The people who should be in charge, the ones with the best morals and are at least fairly intelligent, can't do so if they don't know how to work a freaking piece of technology. Then again, I'm sure you can hire someone to do it for you. Still, why should it come down to that? We don't all speak different languages, we shouldn't need a fucking interpreter.

I was at the Microsoft store yesterday and the day before because my computer was 1) broken and 2) hates me. I can't figure out how to do anything on this laptop. Windows 8 is so complicated, and apparently I need a Microsoft account to do everything. It won't even let me download the Skype app and log into my previous Skype account, it's telling me to make a new one to go with my Microsoft account. The people at the Microsoft store couldn't even find a way around it. Does that make any sense? I want a computer that let's me do what I have to do, not make a whole new identity. If I wanted that, I'd ditch this town and call myself Corella as I moved to France to ride elephants in a French circus. When someone who is supposed to be skilled at working with your type of computer and can't even give you an answer as to why they can't help you, something is very very wrong. Then, while they were attempting to get my computer to cooperate, my lock button broke on my phone. Technology should not be this imperative for me that I rely on it every single day to get through. I have to bring my laptop to school everyday to get things done. Pretty sure I was fine taking tests on paper and not having to look things up in class. I know how to get around the system and get on social media sites. (Obviously I didn't figure it out myself, my friend who knows what he's doing set it up for me.) If I can beat the system, plenty of other people can beat the system. Then what do you have left? A school filled with hooligans who already sneak their phones into class all the time, and are now allowed a larger piece of technology to abuse, pretty much with permission. How are they gonna know what you're doing on your own device? They don't. (Well, maybe they can check, but they're not going to unless you give them some sort of reason to suspect you.) This whole idea of BYOD aka Bring Your Own Device is ridiculous. Everyone I know prefers to take a test on a piece of paper, or have something tangible. Not a screen I have to stare at that makes me see stars when I actually lift my head up for fresh air and to give my little girl eyeballs a rest. On the bright side, eventually with evolution we'll stop getting Carpal Tunnel. On the other hand (why isn't it called "the dark side", if we have a bright side, we should have a dark side), that is the only plus, at least the only one I can think of.

Look at me. I take pictures during school all the time and no one says anything to me. That's not okay! I should paying attention in class, but teachers don't seem to "notice" that I'm taking pictures of myself and everyone around me. The last picture is me from like 10 minutes ago, while the rest of my class is taking a midterm test. I got done early and so I started fucking around. The second to last picture was last week, where I was also taking a midterm test. But who gives a fuck what I'm doing on my technology? The teacher is even in the picture. (I promise the teacher is not the one who's head I am squeezing.)

Technology needs a little cut back, I say. 

I tried to be good but I'm just bad bad bad bad bad

Often I find myself with the urge to get on here and rant, but what do I even talk about? I don't really have much to say, or if I do, by the time I sit down to write about it the passion is gone or I forget what I was trying to preach. It happens to the best of us, though. So, the point is; the current post will have no moral significance for anyone. Or at least I have no intentions of such. It's just an outfit post! (ooh my favorite!) I completely lack on talking about style when that's why I made this damn blog in the first place.

aww look at dat qt

I made a head chain! I bought a chain from Michael's, as well as some jumper chain things, and a set of three elephant charms. I just measured around my head, cut the chain, then attached the two ends with the jumper. After that i put the elephant charm on. The head chain is also supposed to have a link that goes over the top of my head, but the chain around fits my head well, and it being like that, it would look a little strange if I just had a chain on the top of my head. I'm going to make another and hopefully it'll work out better. The elephant tickles my head a lot..

The only weird thing about the top photo is the fact that the triangle of colors is pointing straight at my vagina, so you really notice that general area. I know it works like that because I'm in AP 2D art, not because I'm actually informed on the workings of the brain. 

You know I know when it's a dream.

Imagine me on Twitter, per usual, then seeing a friend of mine and some of her school friends going on a rampage of "culture appreciation" and that's why they don't wear bindis anymore. First of all, women in India don't even use bindis as a sign of marriage or anything anymore. It's just a part of their culture! How can someone tell me I'm in the wrong for looking at another culture, liking what they do, and trying it out myself? I looked it up before I started wearing them. Gwen Stefani did it, HELLLOOOOO. Is it seriously that big of a deal? First of all, these girls talking about this are not of any Indian decent. They are straight white living in the middle of Indiana. What do they know? My friend had an Indian girl from her school give her bindis that she doesn't wear anymore. I think people just like to make a big deal out of nothing. I see no issues here. Who are they to say what another country is feeling? Did anyone even tell them this idea of "don't wear bindis because of culture appreciation"? Where did it even come from? I literally have so many questions. And I was honestly being kind of a bitch about it on Twitter. I brought up the fact that Ancient Egytians started using makeup as a class symbol and other shit. So, therefore, they need to wipe all that makeup off their face due to "culture appreciation" to the Ancient Egyptians. I just see no point of this other than to start drama. There are other ways people violate "culture appreciation". I don't know what else I have to say.

It hurts my heart a little bit how Feminism is becoming a fashion statement. I know a lot of girls who claim to be all about girl power, and that they're Bi. Well, I actually was sitting at the lunch table in school one day, when the topic of a not very nice girl got brought up, and my friend said, "One of my friends had sex with her and said she's really hairy." Then they proceeded to talk about how that was weird. Me, being the person I am, spoke up and said, "I don't think it really matters. If she doesn't want to shave she doesn't have to." WELL. HERE'S WHERE THINGS GET CRAZY. The proclaimed feminist said, "Oh I totally agree. But I think it's okay if you're trying to make a statement. If you're just lazy then you need to get it together." IS. DIS. A. JOKE. What is the point of making a statement if not for a cause?? That's the kind of statement you can only make if you're going to be throwing your vagina at people. If you want to, whatever, but you shouldn't be tossing that thing around just to make a statement that has no backup because you don't even believe in the backup. Some people make no sense. I think I made an argumentative point, then shut my goddamn mouth because I wanted nothing further of the conversation. The supposed feminist is a nice girl, I'm just now concerned that other females might feel this way as well. If so, we're fucked. It defeats the point of being a feminist and makes a mockery of it. The point is for women to have equal rights and a say in what they want to do with their body. Not to be criticized for doing what they want by another feminist because she's not doing it to make a "statement".

I give up on life.

Something takes a part of me.

I've come to good terms with myself on a few things I was weary on before. (This doesn't include the assignment for an AP class I have due before school starts. I'm still a little awe-struck about this. What can you expect from me?) I bet you're hoping I have come to terms with great soul-inspiring human issues. No. They're mostly shallow; appearance related. Do you know who inspires me the most? Arabelle Sicardi. I looked to her when I knew it was time to dye my hair purple in a non-emo way. I love it when her roots grow out. I watched Project Runway (and the last two episodes of season 4 of Drop Dead Diva last night) and guess who was there. Kelly Osbourne. Her hair is purple, her roots are grown out, and she's beautiful. I can do what I want with my hair and make myself what I want with it. It's not about what you do, it's what you do with it. It's like a pair of shoes. It's how your personality plays into it, and how you style them that makes your style/personality aura. Maybe I'm not the best at explaining things, so I'll just talk about this amazing purple lipstick I got off of Etsy.

Just kidding. This post was started about two weeks ago and since then my baby Macbook has committed suicide and I now have a new computer. I wouldn't have this new computer if my school didn't require me to either bring a device or use another brain washing machine they provide. Well, guess what. I don't have a Macbook anymore. It's an Acer I got at the Windows store at the Fashion Mall near my house. I'm so sad to have lost my baby and this computer made me cry when I got home because it's not the same (I'm also emotional and probably a brat. but mostly emotional.). Let's just say me and whoever is in charge of Mac are gonna have a little chat aka me putting my fist in their face. My whole family (mom, uncle, grandma) put money together to get me a used macbook for this past Christmas, keep in mind it's only Augusts now, and the Mac store won't fix my old child, or even supply the parts for me to have someone else fix it. My Mac turned five years old in January, since then it's been considered "vintage" and they won't fix it. The graphic card just went out or something. It wasn't my fault. I didn't spill anything on my computer. Mac just wants me to spend another thousand at their store for it to commit suicide in five and a half years to spend another thousand, or more. It's really sad. I also lost of pictures and files. They won't do anything. I'm so fed up because honestly I'm so comfortable with Macs and they're so neat and easy to use, but for the price you pay in the long run, they aren't worth it. Fuck it.

Where's North from here?

I've been away for a week. If you have kept up with my blog, and have a feel for my personality, I dare you to close your eyes right now and take a guess where I was. dfkjjdkjkdn,kjsdflgbhsdfg (That was so you couldn't see the immediate answer.) Hopefully you all guessed some sort of Fashion Week. That would warm my heart, but that would be incorrect! I was at Jesus Camp. I went with this group at my school called Young Life, who I don't normally associate with. A week before I departed (two weeks ago) I was convinced by a friend to go, and I'm so glad I did. I met some great people, got closer to friends I'd fallen from, and had oodles of fun. It was on this beautiful lake with a shiton of water excitements. What's the actual word for those things? Like the blobs and rope swings and kayaking and tubing? I had all the free time during the day to play frisbee, or nap, or play gaga (and many other things I chose not to do.) We did camp competitions after breakfast. My school's group was so big that we always made our own team, instead of partnering up with other schools to make a team. After dinner went to this building for "Club" where we watched skits and sang and played games on stage. Then a man named Kevin came in to preach the "word" to us. That is the moment of each day when my mood went from Nigel Thornberry to Michael Kors in like two seconds. Instead of having fun in all the mac n cheese like the majority of the day, I threw up all the bologna shoved down my throat. He told us it was a sin to "do you". Umm, pretty sure "do you" is my life motto. We're not allowed to go and find ourselves because ourselves are God. I respect all religions, but I'm just glad I'm not apart of it. I threw in my opinions during Cabin Time, but I never wanted to make any of those kids lose their faith in God. They tried their best to explain Christianity to me, I'm sure in the process they hoped I'd find God, but I don't think they were offended I never did, nor will. I did have some people say iffy things, like telling my my opinions were a "start", as in a start to turning into a Christian, which I didn't appreciate. Nothing I can/could/will ever say will change the way that person feels. Which, is honestly a little sad because I wish the world would just respect everyone's opinions, even if it's not their own.
   I got the chance to ask the preacher man, Kevin, a couple questions. (So did others.) He brought up how man and woman are to be the only ones in a marriage, and that pre-marital sex is a sin. Guess what? All sins are the same in God's eyes, so basically if I have pre-marital sex it's as if I murdered 6 million people (shouts out to Hitler). Another boy asked about reincarnation, the preacher man laughed off the question. I approached the boy later and told him I think it's okay to believe in something that's not a part of the bible. I believe people have the choice, and he agreed. He thanked me for reassuring him. I felt terrible for how his question was laughed off. I want others to feel good about their beliefs even if they aren't the same as mine.

Mother should I trust the government?

There are many things good about summer, but if you are a fuckass, they could easily rot away in the palm of your hand.

I've had to work long shifts this previous Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. I've been at my dad's house since I got off work on Sunday and will be returning later today (Wednesday). I have no friends here in this neighborhood. There are no places to walk. I have my computer and books. Well, Sydney, Why don't you just run along and read a book in a tree? You see, mother, I can't because I HAVE TO WATCH MY DEMENTED GRANDMA. She's a nice lady, but very crazy. I have to keep an eye on her. Thus meaning I have to stay in the house with her all day. I don't get to enjoy this wonderful weather with myself, nor my friends, since I am not near them. I'm not sure if I'm even allowed to go in the backyard and tan while she's in the house. I'm getting paler by the moment! It's heartbreaking, it truly is. I can't enjoy the good weather, or freedom of summer. Shoot, I can't even enjoy proper vision because I don't have another pair of contacts or glasses to get me through today. I feel like a lost kitten in a damp, dark box. I just want to go home!

Imagine being in that position; a damn kitten in a damn dark, damp cardboard box. All you want is to go home! Don't be sad because you have "nothing to do", so you sit inside all day on a nice summer 24 hour period. Go outside! I'm a big supporter of art making at times like this. I know, it's a little hard to be inspired while you're bored. Generally, once you force yourself to start, there's really no stopping you. Making art helps a lot. Prepare a nice meal for yourself or family! Go take pictures of plants and bugs (That's what I do..) or something better like people on the street in the middle of an awkward pose! Find something nice to wear and walk down where there are people and make new friends (or don't) There are so many options if you can just get that lazy booty off the couch. The hardest part is getting started, I promise.

Don't immediately get on the computer, that leads to hours spent doing nothing without realizing it. All you dang teenagers have smart phones (tuh) so check what you have to check on there. That way you'll get bored after you've checked all your social networkings and you'll be ready to go do something. That helps me in the morning to get up. If I find it hard to get up I get on my ex-Iphone to look at Twitter/Facebook/Instagram. I don't think I actually pay attention to whatever's on the screen, but it wakes my brain up a little bit so I'm more aware and willing to get up. I then like to get myself a hot drink because that also will help, then take yourself from there! don't wait too long to put your clothes on. Putting them on in the beginning of your day will help make you feel ready to go whenever. Play music as you get al your shit done. Music gets everyone pumped! Duh! Unless it's Bright Eyes. Don't get me wrong, I fucking love Bright Eyes. But you know that shit is so un-energizing. It makes me want to cry in a shower or go to bed soon. Do what you want, but if you're going by my experienced judgement, I wouldn't choose Bright Eyes as the best thing to wake up to in the morning. So pretty much he moral of the story is: Get up and do something with your life. The more you do in a day the happier you will be.

Nobody told me about her

First, I want you take a moment and soak in the feeling you get when you're on a plane for a few hours and literally don't know what the fuck you're doing. Some of the pictures to and fro Florida are me in an airport and in a plane trying to figure out what's going on. Planes really suck if the people around you aren't any fun (AKA family). Unless, you know, your family is really fun and also happen to find great ways to past time on a plane besides taking Xanax and a drink then passing out. That shit doesn't fix anyone else's problems on the plane unless they're trynna share. If it's your mom, I'd hope she wouldn't share... I could think of reasons why she SHOULD. Maybe you have terrible anxiety? Or a fear of planes/heights? Other than that... I don't think your mom should be passing out Xanax and alcohol willy nilly like a religious person with brochures. It just ain't right ya feels.

I happened to be in Florida through the middle of review week before finals. It sounded fine at first, but actually it sucked. Only because I didn't have the chance to retake any tests or turn in late homework. Surprise Attack! Florida has hit me with Bronchitis. What kind of bullshit is that? I needed to be focusing on school but all I could focus on was all the mucus inside my skull, locked up, trying to escape through any hole. (maybe not any hole... That'd be a lil awkward) My grandma did buy me a lot of stuff and after the first day it got a little old. I don't really feel comfortable with people a bunch of stuff for me! She spent oodles of unnecessary money on me, my mom, and my little brother. It was crazy. Of course I got a lot of cool shit from her, but I still felt guilty. I had to walk away every time the cashier said the amount. Especially when we went to Ron Jon's by Cocoa Beach (or however it may actually be spelled). My brother and I got skimboards, which we aren't terribly good at. I had to get a new bikin top because the beautiful one I ordered from Asos couldn't defend my cleavage from the waves. It could be partially my fault since I only wear bandeaus due to the fact I hate stringy tan lines. The waves were not letting up on me, good thing I have no shame. Haha. I took so many pictures with my nice camera, a disposable camera, a water-proof disposable camera, and my mom's iPhone. We'll see which ones will actually work.

I'm da best at passing time

twinsies

IT GOT A BIRD IN IT NOSE

These are the only ones I really wanted to put on here from my nice camera. I tried to download those disks they give you at Walgreens with your disposable cameras, but my computer kept rejecting it. Even though those photos and this computer would be perf together.

Once I get done with finals and actually get myself together I'll post about all the cool stuff I got. I need an outfit post. Haven't had one in a min.

Words all fail the magic prize

I once again got to dress up and have fun, but this scenario is far from the prissy modeling show. (Not complaining about it. Donut get me wrong.) I went to something called Punk Rock Prom, where you dressed up like prom. Most of the kids were faggots, so they dressed like prom faggots. Who am I to judge? I am, too, a faggot. I just didn't really dress like how they did. I got a velvet gown from Goodwill, then my friend cut it really short. A bunch of bands played, I missed the first two, saw the middle two, and I don't know how many were after that. All I know is that I left at like 11, which is time fo me to dip out. Actually, my friend wasn't feeling good and wanted to leave, also the only band I was really looking forward to had just played. We pretty much all just moshed and whatnot.

My mom gets so upset because she says it's not normal to like pain. I don't think that is very true. Boys like to play fight all the time, there are professional fighters, and look at the people from Jackass! They are literally my idols. I think it might be the fact I do in fact have a vagina. Does that mean I'm not supposed to like fighting? I think not. My mom is very pro-equality, she might just be concerned because I am her heir. But, there's something odd about it, something that rubs me the wrong way. People (my mom and therapist and friends) keep telling me I'm not normal for all this and I just don't agree. If a boy smashed his soda can with his head at lunch everyday, it would be funny. It's still funny when I do it, but I get a little more judged. I get deemed "weird" and possibly "unattractive", I don't know whether people think I'm attractive or not. I don't agree with it being okay for boys to be outgoing while I have to sit back and resist the urge to smash cans with my head. Nawt cool.

dis is da crew: Nina, Shani, Anna, Me (sydney)

awww how l'adorable

cutest couple award

I really want to post the picture of me and this boy that I totally have a "I want to be this kid's bff" crush on, but he doesn't want me to put it anywhere... I'm not sure why. I think I embarrass him.

just kilt the club

I'm officially a famous model. All I need is a nasty coke habit and maybe less boobs. Just kidding, it's not official and I'm not famous. I had to sign a contract saying I wouldn't mention who was producing the fundraiser... so... no press for them I guess. But my hair stylist and other hair stylists from other salons got together and had a fashion show to fundraise for clean water. It was really fun! I can honestly say I've had a taste of the fashion life and I won't settle for anything else. It just pulls my heart a little more together in knowing the fashion industry is where I belong. Aww I'm a faggot! I got to invite a friend to model with me since someone else backed out at the last minute. Our salon didn't win anything, but someone told me I had a great model walk so that's all I really needed to hear...

me after the whole show

Me and Becca before we left da "salon" *Andre Leon Tally voice*

Me and Becca after the show. She actually has glass on hers.

It was really an amazing thing to be a part of. I really quite enjoyed myself, and I'm pretty sure Becca did, too. Now I understand why people make careers out of this shit. It's so great! You want to look at everyone's face in the audience but it's so hard to focus on individuals. I caught a couple people's eyes but I can honestly say I couldn't describe them even a little bit to someone now. Maybe one person, but that's because he was at the end where I was going to walk off. The happiest part (not really) was that I got to keep the fake eyelashes! And all this led to me... missing my purple hair. aw. :c

Who wants to come with me and melt in the sun

When I'm having a rough day I like to listen to Korn and the System of a Down radio on Pandora. A lot of people don't like those bands, and I completely understand. I do! I just wish people liked them. Korn is iffy. I get it. They're weird. System of a Down is so political and smart, though! If you don't like the music itself I would hope you'd appreciate the message they're sending.

I didn't come on this hur post to rant about bands most don't like. I came hur to talk about how I made lip stain! (Thank you Rookie Mag!) It was v organic and makes me feel all clean inside. I want to walk around in high heels and say "yes yes i made this myself you can't buy it in stores SORRYY." Also imagine a very expensive little bag while I fling my arm around. Okay, I'm not that snooty but sometimes I wish I was. I would be fly. (maybe not.) 

  If you read the article, or at least skimmed, on the link I posted, you probably already know that I used beet juice to make my lip stain. It didn't stain my skin as much as I thought it would! You know I don't do gloves. Gloves are for bitches. I don't even use gloves when I dye my hair! Then again, I mostly have other people dye my hair. Whatevs. I already have quite a few red lip stains and lip stick (red isn't quite my color anyway.) so I decided that when I was going to create this I would add a little color to make one orange (orange-y red is totes in right now anyways) and to make a deep purple. I decided food coloring would do the job quite well. It kinda worked.. I put the beet juice in two different containers; one for the orange and one for the purple. I added teeny bits of food coloring and stirred it around, testing it on my hands and lips until I liked the color. The purple didn't work so well. The orange? yes. I didn't add orange food coloring, I added yellow. To make orange... I KNOW MY COLOR THEORY OKAY. You could also have added oils, but i put a few drops into the whole bowl of beet juice that was made from the giant beet I had. I didn't add drops into my individual containers or anything like that. That felt like too much oil to me and it might cancel out because I know that I use oil to also take my makeup and lip stain off. 

ORANGE. this pic is a lil scary

my nose isn't this big in real life.

purple turned a little brown.

this is how dark it looks foreal

Instead of adding oils I just put a little chapstick over my lips when the stains has dried and starts getting stickay. It's a fun experience and you definitely could make a shitton of stain for the price! Me and two other friends made lip stain with the same beet, and we still threw out a big ass bowl of beet juice. If you're into this kind of stuff and enjoy saving money, because TUH who doesnt, I'd definitely give this a try.

Won't tell me no lies, make me a happy man.

I've experienced 4 deaths within the last three weeks. Three of them were affiliated with, or students who went to my school. Everyone's been grieving so much these past weeks, especially with the most recent death on Friday. Everyone at my school has gotten together to take care of each other and therapists or whatever have been coming in so kids can go down and see them. This is all very sweet! I'm happy to be a part of a community that can support each other. Even with the kids who didn't know the ones who died very well were there to help others. When I signed up for this school they were in love with themselves because of the fact that they called the school "one big happy family." Well, for the most part, fuck that. Then, tragedy struck. Three damn times. Now it's like we really are all family. Those who barely spoke to each other are now getting together and celebrating lives and grieving also. You don't realize how much you need others and need to be there for others until tragedy hits and silences your community. 

I almost wanted to sit here and write how people excluded others and made them feel bad if they weren't grieving, which the second part is slightly true, but it's not as big of a deal as I'm making it sound. I chose not to elaborate on that because I realized that that would counteract what I was saying about the big happy family. I think writing this makes me feel better because as I type it helps me process this more, and realize that everyone is just trying their hardest to get through this rough time. Who am I to comment on anything other than that? I'm proud of everyone at my school. 

But most of all, we at war with ourselves

I sit in class all day and I read Rookie Mag. A few things come to mind, "oh god I can write blog posts about shit I like and not have anything serious to say!" and "I want to paint Tavi Gevinson for my Icon painting in painting class." (The Icon painting is a giant painting I spend 9 weeks doing on someone who is a great influence on society and deserves to be remembered in my school and to represent my legacy. um DUH who else??) After I had this brilliant idea, my art teacher then proceeded to tell me she hadn't influenced many generations. WHAT. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? How about generations in the sense of young kids, old kids, woman, and old woman? Generations of woman?? Okay. I'm putting her on my list to be looked over anyway. He's not the one approving the icons, anyway. The dean does.

I clearly belong in Rookie Mag because I, too, have found a beautiful, "underground" movie about an inspirational badass lil girl. The movie Ladies and Gentleman the Fabulous Stains, which is indeed on Netflix for all who it may concern (damnear everyone), is really great. What's not to like about a group of teenage girls with shitty moms (or no mom) who make a punk band and cut their hair and wear underwear on stage? The main character, Corinne, is the definition of "Bad bitch." She can't even play an instrument, but they join a random tour bus and get laughed at originally, then she takes her coat and hat off, and BAM. Underwear and skunk hair! (rhyme??) Then she gives a speech about empowering girls and for them to be themselves. The ultimate statement is "We don't put out!"or something along those lines of not putting out, and that's all that really matters. Who wouldn't aspire to be like her? Maybe girls that put out.

TRY and tell me she has flaws. *all replies invalid*

I wish I had the balls to start a punk band with a bunch of angry teenage girls, cut my hair, only wear undies, and still convince girls to be themselves and not to put out. Honestly, I would love if I had the luxury of wearing underwear and heels without being confused for a baby prostitute... or worse.. white trash. But I'll never know unless I try, right?

Of course there are parts of the movie where she gets her head in a little fog, but what kind of story would it be if there wasn't some drama and misfortune made by the main character? Everything gets back on track, though. I promise.

It's like she's a more punk, bitchin' version of Lady Gaga. Way way more hardcore, but I can't keep that thought from surfacing in my mind as I watch the movie and think about it. People may complain about Lady Gaga, but HEY, you aren't out there telling everyone their beautiful and wearing meat are you?? (If you are then that statement does not apply.) Check yaself. 

A blog is not complete until the blogger has attempted the look. Key word: attempt. 

California dreamin' on such a winter's day

When you have a blog you really get an understand of how uninteresting your life can be sometimes. I've spent a week thinking about what I should blog about, then I remembered I took some nice pictures so... Guess we can deal with that!

There's always that moment of "I just had a photo shoot (two weeks ago) and now I'm finally going to download all the pictures onto my computer and they'll be GREAT." 15 minutes later, after you've downloaded all the photos to your computer and deleted half of them because they were gross, what are you left with? Well, half the photos you started out with. Other than that, NOTHING. It's literally so disappointing! I'm pretty sure every girl goes through this, too. 

You would be right in assuming that these were the only (mostly) appropriate photos I could find that were nice. Let me tell you, doe, that I did not tag that graffiti! Even if I had, I wouldn't claim it publicly, but you can definitely believe me because I only have black spray paint. 

It's sad for a shopaholic when they want to go shopping, or spend their time online shopping, BUT THERE'S NO ROOM TO PUT THE CLOTHES SHE HAS ALREADY. Story of my freaking life!

I say when

Look at me, blogging in school. I think by definition that makes me a rebel. Sorry, but I think I'd rather be reading Rookie Mag on this BWM (Brain Washing Machine) aka Tablet they gave me, then blogging about it, instead of watching a show about white guys building railroads. Though, they DID have Tim Gunn speak in the show, and I love him too much. I get homesick as I read these articles on Rookie because I just want to go home and wash all those clothes I just got at the Goodwill Outlet, then put them all on and take pictures. Why can't I be a beautiful, inspiring babe like Tavi or Arabelle?? I'm beautiful, I'm a babe, and I inspire, but it just doesn't come together for me quite like it does for them! Wah. I'm sure I'm just one of 459870398765049utrgj9 girls that think this everyday of their life.

As I was writing that in school, the teacher closed the class all of a sudden so I didn't even get to finish my sentence. Ohwell, I can't complain because it's not like I lost all that I wrote.

I got my Lip Tar to look like I want it to! I wasn't going to give up so easily, as I would if this was an organized sport. (I am indeed in Track, trying as hard as I can to not quit like I've done with damnear every other sport.) My friend Rachel told me to try putting cover-up on my lips before putting the Lip Tar on. Well, guess who couldn't find their only foundation, and has never even own a cover-up stick before today? THIS GIRL. So I just bought a cheap Maybelline Cover Stick at Marsh or something, came home, and immediately went to try it out. After, of course, I Instagram-ed a picture of the Limited Edition Chocolate and Strawberry Special K cereal. LITERALLY, WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE? You may have said that in a Rihanna voice in your head as you read it, if so, I'm happy. It said "Limited Edition", and there were only four left, so my step-dad said I should buy two... I did. I don't know whether to be like "yeahhh bitch got me two boxes!" or to be like "well... I don't know what to say to you, self." I'll try not to over think it. Back to the Lip Tar subject - I'm really glad my friend gave me this bit of advice because it definitely saved me from going out and buying $20 or more Lip Primer. Sure, some time in my life I will probably end up buying Lip Primer, but now is not the time! I have much better to things to be saving up for, like an antique Air Force jacket. (It looks bootyful on me!)

If you look at this picture, and the picture in the last post, you can tell how much whiter and nicer the Lip Tar looks when I put the concealer stick on under it.

TA DA!!!

Here I am, with my significant other, about to go out to a restaurant. (with my mom and brother.) I just feel like I started this blog to talk about my style and fashion, so I need to keep up with the keep up. Another day will have to be spent reviewing all my Goodwill Outlet purchases, though.